It has been a year since I lost both my mom and dad in a span of 20 days. I think, like a lot of people, I underestimated the effect grief would have on me. After the difficult process of cleaning out and selling their house all while trying to stay engaged with work from New Brunswick, I was exhausted. In hindsight, I should have taken some time off to recover, but the first break I gave myself was a short trip to Montreal to get away from everything and unplug.

I wasn’t thoughtful about choosing Montreal. I had decided on Vancouver for an escape, but the hotels were so expensive that I ended up booking my trip to this city that has been so much a part of my life over the years. I was so tired in organizing all of this that it didn’t even occur to me that I’d be away for what would have been my dad’s 85th birthday. More on that in a bit. But I was “with it” enough to book a seat on the left side of the plane for this view. Olympic Stadium on the final approach brought a tear to my eye.

I knew that I would think a lot about my parents on this trip, and in particular, about my dad on account of the number of times we had traveled to Montreal to see Expos games. From the first game we saw together in 1982 to the last game we attended in 2003, a lot of the history of me in this city revolves around the relationship I have with my dad.

I leaned into old experiences on this visit. What I think is the best breakfast in Montreal – a smoked meat sandwich at Schwartz’s was the fuel for my first day.

… and that reminded me of the first time I treated dad to a visit to Montreal as an adult and we bellied up to the counter for his first taste of one of my favourite sandwiches of all time. You can tell he enjoyed it!

Even something like beer tastings at a couple of places I love – Mellon and Dieu du Ciel….

… made me think of dad and I hanging out at Benelux on our last trip together to Montreal. We sat in the sun pouring through the windows on a late March afternoon and shared old stories as we enjoyed a couple of pints.

When I later visited Messorem, my favourite brewery in Montreal, I thought of how much I wished dad was there and how I’d have to find him a beer that tasted most like his beloved Budweiser.

I thought a lot about how much he would have loved this mural in the brewery dedicated to the ghosts of our favourite baseball team with a couple of nods to their mascot, Youppi!.

On what would have been my dad’s 85th birthday, I saved the afternoon to simply wander around the city and there were so many memories on so many street corners. I sat on a couple of patios with a beer in my hand and thought of him. I walked down rue Ste. Catherine and remembered how in awe I was of the sounds and sights of this city as dad held my hand as a 7 year old. Maybe no place made me smile more than cutting through Dorchester Square where I chased pigeons on those early 1980s trips with dad.

As much as this was a trip about looking back, every time I am in Montreal, there are always a few things to add to the ever-growing bank of memories. This time, a soccer match at Stade Saputo between Montreal and Toronto and meeting a new mascot – Tac-Tik.

On this trip I opted for a new to me restaurant for a great meal and settled on Nora Grey. Sitting at the bar, I was part of a bit of banter among a few couples, one of which was celebrating an anniversary and buying drinks for everyone else. Everything I had was delicious and I expect I’ll return on a future visit. Fried zucchini flowers stuffed with rabbit sausage, casoncelli with lobster and garlic scapes and a strawberry and lemon/basil pavlova made for an amazing meal.

I have been back to Montreal since this trip and have another visit planned there in the very near future. The echos of all of my past experiences and how they combine with the newness I find there on every visit makes me fall in love with this place a bit more every time. Maybe one day, I’ll even be lucky enough to see the return of my beloved Expos and have everything come full circle.